Wired for Love

How Understanding Your Partner's Brain Can Help You Defuse Conflicts and Spark Intimacy
Stan Tatkin
New Harbinger Publications 2012
ISBN 9781608820580

Details

"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. "Wired for Love" is a complete insider's guide to understanding a partner's brain and promoting love and trust within a romantic relationship. Readers learn ten scientific principles they can use to avoid triggering fear and panic in their partners, manage their partners' emotional reactions when they do become upset, and recognise when the brain's threat response is hindering their ability to act in a loving way. By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more co-operative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship.

Based in the sound science of neurobiology, attachment theory, and emotion regulation research, this book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.

"This book is grounded in the latest brain science, as well as being wonderfully friendly, encouraging, and practical. It shows readers how to stay out of dead-end conflicts and instead light up the neural circuits of empathy, skillful communication, and love. A marvelous resource."
Rick Hanson, Ph.D., author of Buddha's Brain.

"I really enjoyed this book and learned a lot from it that I can use as a therapist. Stan Tatkin is a great innovator. This book is a must for every couples' therapist's library."
John Gottman, author of The Science of Trust.

"If you feel lost, confused or alone in your relationship, get this book right now. You will finally make sense out of chaos and pain. This is your map to go from frustration and insecurity to realise the potential of why you initially got together. Stan Tatkin's insightful book will teach you to work as a team to make your relationship journey safe, engaging, and deeply satisfying."
Peter Pearson, Ph.D., couples therapy specialist and cofounder of The Couples Institute in California.

"Stan Tatkin shows how our couple relationships would look if we took seriously what attachment theory and neuroscience research has taught us."
Dan Wile, author of After the Honeymoon.

RRP: $33.95

Special Price $28.25

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