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The New Rules of Love
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Explore the cultural shifts that are shaping relationships today and master new approaches for working effectively with contemporary couples. You’ll learn:

  • How different generations view couplehood, divorce, and traditional marriage
  • About the search for a more differentiated identity within intimate partnership and the advent of the "capstone marriage"
  • Strategies to help couples bring more spontaneity, playfulness, and eroticism into their relationship
  • How to help couples honor relationships even when they’re ending
  • Why creating multiple attachments is a key ingredient in successful marriages

 

OUTLINE:

 

  1. Explain the premise of today’s “capstone marriage” and how it differs from marriage arrangements in previous generations.
  • Partners enter relationships as self-sufficient and with their own fully-formed identities
  • Partners’ pre-formed identities are harmonious, but still differentiated
  • In traditional marriage, partners pursued goals together, without having arrived at a state of self-sufficiency
  • Partners used to get married earlier in life; with the capstone marriage, they’re waiting
  1. Discuss the new divorce rate trends in the Boomer generation.
  • Partners used to date because they were unhappy; today, they divorce because they feel they could be happier
  • Partners consider divorce when their needs are not being met, approaching relationships as a costs vs. benefits scenario
  • Divorce is a more acceptable concept for Boomers today than a decade ago. One-third of Boomers are either now divorced, widowed, or never married
  • Boomers don’t consider age a hindrance to divorce. Even as seniors, they see purpose in divorce
  1. Identify why community networks are important to the health and survival of relationships.
  • In gay and lesbian relationships, mother or father figures are brought in where there wasn’t one previously (for instance, two gay men may have an aunt fulfill a motherly role)
  • Communities can give a relationship structural support. Rural areas experience a higher divorce rate than more heavily populated ones.
  • People have a need to develop platonic attachments to others in order to find overall satisfaction in their social life
  • Putting emphasis on one person as an outlet for social fulfillment can drain a relationship

 

OBJECTIVES:

  • Explain the premise of today’s “capstone marriage” and how it differs from marriage arrangements in previous generations. 

RICHARD SIMON, Ph. D

Richard Simon, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and for the last 40+ years has been the editor of Psychotherapy Networker, the most topical, timely, and widely read publication in the psychotherapy field. As editor, he's received every major magazine industry honor, including the National Magazine Award.


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